Collection of jokes & humors

For the past two weeks we only had news of mass protests and revolts in the Middle East and earthquake and tsunami in Japan. While we are waiting for new and hopeful developments in those areas, let me share with you some jokes & humors unrelated to politics and economics – for relaxation and a change of mood.


Those jokes and humors I collected over the years are mostly in English. They are not translatable. Also, if we don’t write and read English, we may forget an important language.


a) Bernard Shaw, the british dramatist wrote a letter to Winston Churchill. “Sir Winston: Herein enclosed two tickets for the opening night of my play, The Pygmalion. Bring a friend if you have one”. Churchill replied: “Sir Bernard: Regret for not being able to attend to the first night of your play. However, I shall attempt to come on the second night if there be one”.


b) At a dinner party in London, Bernard Shaw sat next to a young lady. He said to her: “I give you ten thousands pounds for you to sleep with me tonight”. She said: “Oh, Sir Bernard, stop kidding me!” After the dinner, the girl looked at Bernard and asked: “Do you really mean what you said before dinner’? Bernard replied: “Of course I mean it. Except that now I am going to give you only 10 pounds”. The girl got up and shouted at him: “10 pounds, what do you take me for”? Bernard replied calmly: “What I take you for is already determined. What’s not determined is the price”.


c) If you are making love in Hyde Park, London, make sure that it’s your back that leans against the tree. On the contrary, the passing-by Scotland Yard might accuse you of rape and you might be sentenced to 5 years in a royal prison.


d) During a heated debate in 19th Century British Parliament, the leader of the opposition party shouted at the leader of the ruling party: “You shall die of guillotine or from venereal disease”. The ruling party leader reply: “That depends whether I embrace you politics or your mistress”.



(To be continued)